Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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