Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
