in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize