..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
