"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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