I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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