I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
