Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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