there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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