Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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