No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The dick lei will go down in squad history
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
