what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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