its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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