yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
