Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
