wanna go halves on a baby?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
