Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
