You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think i have herpe
just one?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
