Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
