hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
