I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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