I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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