Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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