The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
