Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
