Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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