shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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