all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
