I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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