Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize