I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
