Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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