Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am naked and annoyed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
