I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
