I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
