Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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