thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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