I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
