hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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