I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize