Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize