every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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