the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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