Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Jerry, you need to find god
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
