Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
