You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
