so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
