i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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