We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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