im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
