Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm passing your future prison.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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