Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize