Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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