i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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