hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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