i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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